Okay Okay not so good..Try Again!

Yep I have to say this taking care of me stuff is tricky...I found myself totally out of energy and breath after only 20 minutes of a work out the other day. And whatever I did with those weights and squats left my thighs burning for two days..what up with that? Maybe I can figure out which one worked so well and keep that one up.

I have tried to reduce the intake...but then last night I got into the Planters trail mix..do not even look at the calories on that one. Well it is morning and it is almost time to get moving. So I will do my mini work out...might go to gym for lunch and clear my head before the afternoon of work. I need to find ways to build focus and keep on track. Between my father's passing http://sistersoftheperpetuallydissatisfied.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-fatherfly-well.html

and the chaos of work I believe I am a bit depressed. Those commercials for things like Cymbalta (http://www.cymbalta.com/index.jsp) are looking real tempting...but then I recall that those medications all include weight gain...ugh. But then I also know that I have to get on track. For me working out, eating correctly and finding quiet time are critical and all lacking. The question is: can I bring these things into my life and get better. I think the only answer is to keep trying. What works for you?

Boxing Day...Time to start anew

Oh joy for boxing day. I am done with the big meals, the crackers and cheese...potato chips (oh I love them) and hummus with lots of olive oil, salt and pepper. It is about getting motivated now.

The gym will be packed but I will ignore the holiday and New Years folks..they will be gone by February. I will be a gym rat snob...even though I find that I have become one of those occasional folks. Ugh I am the part time fitness and full time mid life over weight folks. I need to get a grip.

One of my favorite pass times is to visit the local second hand stores, and there are a lot of them opening lately...it is so much fun. My best find is a great pair of jeans...I love to look for jeans but I am not going to allow myself any more jeans unless I get down to a comfy loose fitting size 8 and then we will work toward 6 again. I am tired of size 10 jeans not even feeling comfortable...I do not want muffin top and I want to be fit enough to have fun with my dog and my grand children. Oh joy boxing day...here we go. Reports coming tomorrow!

Today I will do something!

Okay today I will get up...soon...and exercise. It will be good, really. I am amazed at how often I believe that I have the capacity to recreate myself. Seriously after half a century I should know better. It amazes me how often I am willing to begin anew.

This holiday season has been tough. I drink too much wine and eat too much junk. It is not the empty calories in my glass of wine (well two) that I worry about as much as my "wine attitude". The one that says "hey look chex mix: healthy, low calorie (says so on my low fat bag) ...tomorrow we will work out hard". Oh and then I have that "who cares anyway" conversation. Hell I worked my whole life to look good, from my 30's and into my early 40's I ran everyday, everyday four to five miles. So eat the chex mix...dig for those fat filled peanuts!

Okay well today I am going to try and work out, fight my cold off with some sweat. I will hurt, my hip (the big excuse for not running anymore) will hurt, I will take ibuprofen and best of all: Believe that tomorrow I will actually do it again.

I cannot dance so in public I lift!

So my new fun little routine that I work out to has dance moves...while I once fashioned myself a dancer (Oh lordy how people must have laughed at me, thank goodness I drank too) I cannot for the life of me keep up. Seriously it is amazing. Good news about this workout is that the time goes fast so thirty minutes ends and I am sweating.

I do this because at some point I might actually join the class at the gym, but my fear of being totally out of step overrides my desire to be in the group. So for now I will stick to my safe stair master and lift while at the gym. Ah but secretly in my little house I will practice dancing for fitness!

I Will Do Something

Okay so another morning has been spent on the blogs...but I am going to do something before I shower. I will go to TV exercise, if you have not been here it is well worth it. You can find a great ten minute work out (For Free) http://exercisetv.tv/ and feel a little bit better about yourself.

Of course this means that I also have to find a work out bra..you know that there is no jumping at 51 without it!!! Good heavens. It will be a hard day of decisions and I need a clear head. Work on my Judy Ringer "difficult conversations"(check this lady out ...wonderful stuff) http://www.judyringer.com/html/main.html and be strong. Wish me luck. Off to my ten minutes of "me" time....well body me time. I actually find my hour or two from 5-7am to be great me and the girls on the blogs time!

SO SO ...That is it

Okay so most of my posts lately been in my "sisters" blog but had to update. I am not doing too well here. Trying though. I have been to the gym at least a few times a week and Saturday I actually took to the road for a quick jog. (I am still crippled from it) I have decided to return to church, spending a little time with faith seemed like a good idea. I also bring Mom, she does like to go to church even though she grumbles when I wake her.

I find the hardest thing about taking care of me is that I prefer, by habit or instinct or training, to take care of others. It is what I do. Just like on Saturday when I did run it was because going to the gym simply did not fit into the schedule of visits to Dad, grocery shopping and cooking dinner for the throng of people who currently call my house home. I occasionally search the web for information on codependency...I know that is me. I read and think about it.

Well that is my story...I believe that it is in the trying that we achieve something. Keep moving forward and being aware of what sucks life from me, finding the time to energize and stopping along the way to ensure that I am not enjoying the pity party but the beauty around me. Wow how is that for a Monday morning after vacation? Check me on Thursday!